Thought #1: Wow, my roommate and my boyfriend both go off on tangents about imaginary and ridiculous situations. I should make sure they're properly introduced - they'd get along great!
Thought #2 (Immediately Following Thought #1): What if they got along too well? MY ROOMMATE AND MY BOYFRIEND MUST NEVER MEET.
Yes, that actually happened in my head. No, I'm not that jealous. I just think it's funny how much that part of me has changed.
**********************
The summer continues to run at an alarming clip. Each day is both mundane and extraordinary, and it's amazing (and depressing) how often the extraordinary parts pass without my notice.
I'm feeling a bit guilty that I'm not spending more time with the other Volunteers over the weekends, which I usually spend with Ryan or hidden while reading or struggling with art. I want to connect with my fellow Volunteers, but Ryan is my priority (I'm in love - I can't help it) and it's hard not to indulge in books I actually want to read and art that I have had to deny myself during the school year. Also, after spending so much of every day surrounded by people, my patience wears thin. Maybe they'll forgive me. They'd forgive me less, I think, if I silently clung to their coat-tails. That gets annoying for everyone.
Northwestern says they've sent off the final acceptance and rejection letters as of Friday, and their website should be updated with decisions by Monday or Tuesday. I must brace myself I must brace myself I must brace myself. No outcome of this can be altogether happy for me. Either Ryan gets in and I'm selfishly sad and lonely until whenever he graduates, or he is rejected and broken-hearted (and me with him). I can never make these things easy on myself, can I?
Two of my Burundi students leave for Atlanta on July 12. The third student will leave shortly thereafter. Lord, help me to prepare them as best I can. Their new lives will not be easy. In fact, they will be incredibly difficult. God help them.
I never really write about happy things, do I? Yeesh, I need to watch some sixties musicals or something. You know, all those people running around, dancing, telling each other how great life is while in perfect rhythm and harmony, all while stepping in unison? I could take a lesson from them. Uh. Maybe.
Ryan dreams in musicals sometimes. My dreams are always very violent. Maybe I can blame all this trite complaining on my subconscious. It obviously has some serious issues.
The summer continues to run at an alarming clip. Each day is both mundane and extraordinary, and it's amazing (and depressing) how often the extraordinary parts pass without my notice.
I'm feeling a bit guilty that I'm not spending more time with the other Volunteers over the weekends, which I usually spend with Ryan or hidden while reading or struggling with art. I want to connect with my fellow Volunteers, but Ryan is my priority (I'm in love - I can't help it) and it's hard not to indulge in books I actually want to read and art that I have had to deny myself during the school year. Also, after spending so much of every day surrounded by people, my patience wears thin. Maybe they'll forgive me. They'd forgive me less, I think, if I silently clung to their coat-tails. That gets annoying for everyone.
Northwestern says they've sent off the final acceptance and rejection letters as of Friday, and their website should be updated with decisions by Monday or Tuesday. I must brace myself I must brace myself I must brace myself. No outcome of this can be altogether happy for me. Either Ryan gets in and I'm selfishly sad and lonely until whenever he graduates, or he is rejected and broken-hearted (and me with him). I can never make these things easy on myself, can I?
Two of my Burundi students leave for Atlanta on July 12. The third student will leave shortly thereafter. Lord, help me to prepare them as best I can. Their new lives will not be easy. In fact, they will be incredibly difficult. God help them.
I never really write about happy things, do I? Yeesh, I need to watch some sixties musicals or something. You know, all those people running around, dancing, telling each other how great life is while in perfect rhythm and harmony, all while stepping in unison? I could take a lesson from them. Uh. Maybe.
Ryan dreams in musicals sometimes. My dreams are always very violent. Maybe I can blame all this trite complaining on my subconscious. It obviously has some serious issues.
No comments:
Post a Comment